Unstoppable children

Once in a while, everyone puts off things they need to do till later.

However, this attitude can be so pervasive in some individuals slowing down their productivity and preventing them from thriving. 

It is quite normal for some people to drag their feet when a situation in front of them is dicey or unpleasant, or a task to be undertaken is tedious. 

When there’s an obligation that we don’t really want to fulfil, we tend to delay or slow down our momentum.

While this is true for most of us, there are people who habitually put off nearly everything that needs to be done to their own detriment. The struggle to get things done, and to be done on time can be a real challenge that should not be overlooked.

While some people may gloss over it as laziness, it is important to understand that there are childhood roots of procrastination.

The fear of failing can be the problem behind procrastination. That is why children should be taught to do what they have to do whilst they are afraid.

Children whose emotional needs are met through much love, support and encouragement do not fear to take risks.

This does not mean they don’t fear or they don’t get hurt when they fail. But they keep a positive mind that they will succeed, and if not, they will work to pick themselves up.

On the other hand, in families where parents are stingy in giving love (which does not include being permissive) and support is based on good behaviour, children learn that failure means that they are flawed and that is unacceptable.

They begin to perceive that the world is divided into winners and losers and they must win to be loved.

Children

Children of this age live in a world of many distractions and many things are fighting to get their attention. Prioritising, getting focused and completing a task may require great self-discipline.

And this, parents must ensure they instil in them to help their children value and manage time.

Children should be helped to set goals with deadlines. Successful completion should attract praise and or an incentive.

Threatening and intimidating are not such great strategies as fear rather induces the tendency to procrastinate.

By breaking up a task (because it may seem overwhelming to the child) into smaller manageable steps, we will be helping to develop admirable time management skill that is necessary in these times.

Children benefit more when they have enough freedom to complete tasks.

Providing a timeline for accomplishing tasks makes children more focused and accountable.

That sense of accomplishment they feel when the goal is reached is vitalising energy that will help develop the character for doing exploits.

The feelings of inadequacy and fear of failure arise when parents continue to compare their children with other children. We damage their self-esteem when we should be celebrating their strengths and abilities.

Clutter can overwhelm children making it hard to organise themselves and identify tasks to finish. This is why we must continue to insist that children keep their rooms clean at all times.

Parents who keep their children on gadgets for a long time just to distract them so that they can have time and space to do serious work are only doing them a disservice.

These gadgets have become a great source of procrastination that must be addressed in many homes and schools. 

The end does not justify the means.

Let’s teach our children this early by guiding them to focus on the process of achieving a goal and not merely the outcome. 

The writer is a Child Development Expert/ Fellow at Zero-to-three Academy, USA.

E-mail: nanaesi_19@yahoo.co.uk