Always connected

“You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.” A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

For some of us, getting through on daily basis without the Internet is unfathomable. Even if many of us can remember the days before the Internet, living without it seems impossible. Whether at work, in school or leisure, we rely on the power of the Internet to get things done.

Some might argue that the Internet is not a necessity and that one could live without it. But why would you? With the Internet there are e-mail, information delivery and discovery, online banking, shopping, and working from home, blogging and social networking.

Any information you want is literally at your fingertips or should I say, a google search away?

Social media networking sites have made the Internet a more interesting medium. I love social media for all the reasons many people do. I can connect with friends and families who would normally be hard to reach. I can communicate quickly, I can find out what others are doing and also learn.  

Imagine how it would be like without the Internet. Just stop and  thought for a moment, Imagine no google, no email.

Social media are valuable in many ways. When they are used correctly they can have many benefits but when used  wrongly, they can have a negative impact on both health and happiness.

A recent experience shared with me by a friend, brought my attention to the fact that many of us can do with some guidelines on what is acceptable and what is not.

You see, my friend lives oversees and one morning, as part of a daily routine, she went on Facebook and saw a posting from a family friend stating ‘Rest in peace, Mr ‘So and So.’ What and who is he referring to? Is he talking about my father? “Oh no, it can’t be”. She thought to herself.

For this reason, she called her mother in the home country only to find out that her father had just passed away that morning.

Can you imagine how my friend must have felt? Who wants to find out something of this magnitude online?

I know someone else who found out that her boyfriend had another girlfriend on Facebook. Both of these incidents made me reconsider how we use social media. These two major incidents did not have a place being blasted through Facebook. Nobody wants to hear any bad news especially when it is so personal in a public domain.

So, today, I want to share a few lessons I have learnt in navigating the sometimes tricky road of social networking. I hope you would take something from it and hopefully made your online social interactions more pleasurable.

When you first join Facebook, the main activity is to connect with friends, family and colleagues, both current and long lost.

When I started using Facebook, I was puzzled by a number of strangers who wanted to be my FB friends. I am sure this is a dilemma most people on Facebook face constantly.

The decision of whether or not to accept that notorious ‘friend request’.  If you haven’t yet been confronted with it, you are about to, and sooner rather than later, something important to note about Facebook is that it is a social network. They are places to keep your friends and family updated on what and how you are doing.

So, if for any reason you want to ‘friend’ a stranger, please add a note of explanation to your friend request, explaining who you are, and the reason for your request. Certainly ‘friending’ someone you have just met and you want to know each other better is fine.

Make sure you re-familiarise him or her with how you know each other. This might make the other person more comfortable giving you access to their personal life. This also applies to anyone who has had a name change. A friendly reminder of who you are would be nice.

Remember that your old mates from secondary school might not necessarily know that you are now ‘Mrs. So and so”. I really appreciate and respect that sort of exchange, and I think most people would do too.

At its core, Facebook is all about the status update. After all how else would you know where your primary school classmate attended college or what they had for dinner? But be careful not to abuse it.

Deliberately posting vague posts, outright bragging, chronic complaining, endless rhetorical questions and posting too frequently on every little thing and doesn’t go over too well with other online users.

Before you go online to update your status, ask yourself if you really need to share that thought with the virtual world. Just like you think before you talk, think carefully before you click the ‘post’ button. Trust me, you’ll be double happy you did before sharing with the world.

When you get down to it, the same rules of decorum that apply in the ‘real’ world, apply to our online communities. When in doubt, simply remember to use the same courtesy and respect you would use in face-to-face interactions.

There are so many do’s and don’ts I could talk about but I don’t want to bore you. This is a good start and who knows, one day I might come back to this topic.

So whether you are a social network addict, a novice, a dabbler or you are thinking about trying online networking, I hope the guidelines will enhance your social interactions with others. And hopefully help you have a better quality of life.

Stay connected!

By By Barbara Sai Djangmah / The Mirror / Ghana

The writer is a Lifestyle Coach & Author of ‘The Seduction of Food’ barbs_sai@yahoo.com