Love isn’t just for one day

Card shops and supermarkets are awash with red hearts, chocolates and cuddly toys right now as retailers offer us numerous ways to show our partners how we feel this Valentine’s Day.

But is a single day of romance each year enough to keep a healthy relationship going? Relationship expert Gladeana McMahon offers her advice.

• It’s only a day: “It’s very easy to buy into the commercial aspect of Valentine’s Day,” explains Gladeana. “There’s such a focus on it and it’s so simple to pick up a card or box of chocolates.
But many of us do this because we feel obliged to, and if we don’t make an effort at any other times then the underlying sentiment is that for the rest of the year, we can’t be bothered. And that’s not a good situation for any relationship to be in.”

• It’s not about the money, money, money…: We often assume that it’s only the big, costly gestures that count, and use that, and our hectic lives, as an excuse not to do more to make our other halves feel loved.

“But what most people want from their partners is to be remembered and that doesn’t have to cost much if anything at all,” Gladeana says.

“You could put a nice note in their handbag or pocket, bring home a bottle of wine when you know they’ve had a busy day, or just make sure you say thank you when they’ve done something for you.
It’s about letting your partner know that you appreciate and value them all the time.”

• I need a little time…: Next time you’re at the supermarket, pick up their favourite food or drink, even if it’s not something you’d normally buy; or simply give up your time to do something for them.
 “Your time is always more valuable to your relationship that anything you can buy,” explains Gladeana.

“Thinking about ways you can support your partner and ways to help them out can and should be done year-round.
If they have a difficult letter to write, for example, and that’s something you’re good at, then your offer of help will mean a lot more than a card and a pink teddy!”

• Still not sure?: The reality is that if you only show your love on February 14th then you’re putting your relationship at risk.

“What you do on the other 364 days of the year will outweigh any effort you put in on Valentine’s Day,” warns Gladeana.

“You wouldn’t buy a beautiful plant and only water it once a year – it would die! Think of relationships the same way: they need to be nurtured all the time in order to thrive and grow.”

By Helen Shepherd