Absence, makes the heart grow fonder or forgetful

By: Papa Nyan Andoh
Couples in long distance rely heavily on phone calls, texts and video calls to stay in touch
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There once was a boy who lived far away
From a girl he wished he could see all day
They tried to text, they tried phone calls,
They even tried letters, they tried it all.
But it wasn’t enough for the love to stay.

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CORONAVIRUS came into this country without an invitation and has definitely overstayed its welcome. This virus has created a new normal and changed our usual routine. One of the things it interrupted was relationships.

Imagine finally gathering the courage to ask that girl out, or spending your last coins to impress her only for Corona to come and tear you guys apart.

Unfortunately, this is the case for most people, especially among students in the university, who were in very committed ‘campus marriages’ or those who just started dating.

This situation has two solutions, end the relationship or try a long distance relationship. But does that really work?

For those of you who do not know, a long distance relationship (LDR), per my definition, is a relationship where the people involved are geographically separated but are still romantically involved.

Couples in long distance rely heavily on phone calls, texts and video calls to stay in touch and keep the relationship going.

By force separation from the person you believe you are in love with is hard, obviously. But it is especially harder if your love language is physical touch or quality time.

Some people only understand and feel loved and valued when they spend time with their partners. Just five minutes with the person or a warm hug is enough to make your entire day brighter.

Without these elements in place, it is difficult for you to feel loved and when the love fades from the relationship, it is time to share the grace and leave because there really is not much left.

Being apart from your partner can also be very stressful for people who are better at chatting in person than over the phone. Communication is a major factor in every relationship but it becomes more essential in LDRs.

It is more frustrating when your partner is in a different time zone because, then your schedules will be much more conflicting. And what happens when you run out of things to say?

When the person is close to you or within reach, it does not seem like such a big deal, but when the person is miles away, it can be a little scary.

But it’s not all bad. I know it’s hard to believe but every cloud has a silver lining, even a grey cloud like this. You can allow absence to make your heart grow fonder. The distance can help you appreciate the times you spent together.

The space created by your partner’s absence can be the confirmation you need to be sure that the person completes you.

Oh and when you run out of things together, you can take the opportunity to initiate deep conversation and get to know the person better, all their desires and all their fears.

Being in a long distance relationship can also be a good thing for people to focus on themselves without it seeming as though you are ignoring your partner.

Without your partner as a ‘distraction’ so to speak, you can invest more time into yourself and become a better version of yourself.

The keys to a successful long distance relationship is trust and communication. If you find yourself in this uncomfortable situation and you are determined to make it work, you have to work hard at building these two factors.

If you do not trust your partner, you will become overly suspicious and start overthinking. ‘If he’s online and not talking to me, who is he talking to?

Or ‘why was the boy in the picture she posted the last time smiling like that?’ But then again, what is a relationship without trust?

These unhealthy thoughts will eventually corrupt and destroy the relationship. Be very open with each other, be ready to make sacrifices and it just might work out in the end.

Personally, I don’t know any long distance relationships that have lasted, but hey, there’s a first time for everything right?